happiness

What my I wish I knew when I was 20.

I’m in my 40s now.

It’s been a good ride. I’ve had some good years and some difficult. The way I say it is that my life has been a bit of a ride uphill, sort of like going up a ski lift, and from now on out, I’m expecting to slalom down softly.

I don’t think I’ve learned too much along the way. In fact, the more I know, the more I realise the less I know. But there some things I wish I knew when I were younger. Here they are.

What my current self would have told my younger self.

The friends I made when I was young are going to be the same friends I have now. I didn’t know that. I’ve made quite a few friends a long the way but I truly count my closest friends on one hand, okay two. I met them when I was in University, and even a couple in high school and I consider them to know me better than anyone in the world.

That growing up where I did was awesome.

I didn’t realize it at the time but I am now realizing how lucky I was to have grown up in Southern California. When I left it, I was quite certainly ready to move on. But somethings remain. Things like having to have studied at some of the best schools, the privilege to have gone to University in Silicon Valley and riding my bike to and from campus, the privilege of meeting my best friend there.

I realize now that I was privileged to have things like having a swimming pool, tennis court, baseball and football field around my high school. These are all things I took for granted.

I believe that striving towards excellence in academics and sports were the two most important decisive factors on who I believe I am as an adult. My father told me a little competition is good for you.

My friends and I all started on the swim team around eight years old. I swam all through high school. J9, can you still smell the chlorine and remember how red our eyes would get? I was also a huge fan of my brother playing baseball and basketball and spent a lot of time cheering for him.

One of my favorite parts of high school was taking the stats for the Junior Varsity and Varsity basketball team. I knew more about free throws, rebounds, three point shots and assists than the players themselves. I am speaking strictly from a statistical perspective. Scouts would come and ask me who was the best and I could rattle off averages.

My little awards sit in a jewelry box. Little remnants of honors and achievements.

Other things I wish I knew.

That one day I would have decided to move to Europe. If I can think of one riveting moment in my life it was the day I decided I wanted to live abroad. It wasn’t actually a moment but a progression of choices that paved my path. I feel so blessed to have lived in both Europe and USA. What a fantastic education. Moreover was the choice to be able to go back and forth, not at a whim, but as parter of a bigger plan.

There is no other place I’d rather be than right here right now.

I didn’t know

That my children would speak Italian. I never thought I would have Italian speaking children. It’s quite adorable actually. They speak English well too. Believe me, I insist ~ not all of the time, but a lot of the time.

I think the ONE most important things I have learned as an adult is the capacity to give. For some reason as a child I just felt like I wanted material objects. Maybe I felt this way in order to compensate for the attention I felt I needed but didn’t get. I don’t know.

Now I just want to give. I heard so many times the more you give the more you receive but I think I didn’t believe it. It’s true.

I learned to trust the Lord. It’s not an easy road to give in to His will. In fact, it’s quite a daily struggle but I have learned He does provide, is a loving father and has given me more than I feel I deserve. For that I am truly thankful.

Hope this post finds you lovely and in love.

Julie

2 thoughts on “What my I wish I knew when I was 20.”

  1. I love this post, Julie. I think it’s fabulous that you still have the friends you knew when you were young… How cool to watch them evolve over the years.

  2. Another great post, sorry not to have called by to comment recently but life has been rather hectic and this last week stressful but blogging is helping me stay calm I think.

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